This time of year makes me want to slow down. The shorter days and cooler temperatures prompt me to stay in bed as long as possible in the morning and lounge around the house at night, curling up with a good book or going to sleep early. My circadian rhythms mimic the daylight.

After a hectic October, November feels like a deep breath. The grass and weeds have stopped growing for a while, the evenings are dark, and the holiday season isn’t yet in full swing. My workload and other commitments have eased up a bit. Summer is over, winter is coming, and my instinct is to hibernate.

One thing this season does not make me want to do is workout. I have very little motivation to push myself to do anything physically strenuous right now. I want extra rest, not high intensity training. At the same time, I know that when my energy is low and my mood becomes melancholy, moderate physical activity combined with fresh, brisk air will reliably give me a boost. And when I’ve been sitting too much (as is often the case given my desk job and substantial commute), my body craves movement.

Throughout my life, my commitment to exercise has ebbed and flowed, and the forms of fitness I’ve pursued have varied. At times, I’ve looked at this as a failure and criticized myself for not sticking with a program for the long haul. I’ve come to see these patterns as life’s natural rhythms, though. Sometimes I have the time and energy to push myself harder in the physical fitness realm because I’m less focused on other goals. At other times, competing areas of my life demand more attention. I used to feel like I had to do all the recommended wellness and personal development routines all the time, but that simply isn’t realistic. Trying to squeeze everything into every day just leads to disappointment, frustration, and negative self-talk.

This season, rather than pushing myself to meet fitness goals, I’m doing my best to listen to my body and give it what it needs and wants. Lately, it wants and needs gentle, mindful movement.

Waking up extra-early to exercise isn’t working for me right now. My body wants the extra sleep and a slower start to the day. So I let myself sleep until 6:30 most weekdays, and I don’t beat myself up about it. I take my son for walks around our neighborhood after dinner (yes, we walk in the dark — it’s peaceful and puts him to sleep). Sometimes I walk alone on my lunch break. I’m fortunate to have a beautiful trail right behind my office, and a sunny mid-day walk through the trees rejuventates me.

I spend a few minutes stretching when my muscles feel tight. I try to be aware of my posture and adjust it often throughout the day. I go to an after-work yoga class once a week. Sometimes I do some yoga at home on my own. Yoga not only helps me to relax, it puts me in touch with my body. It raises my awareness of how my emotions are manifesting themselves physically. It increases my sensitivity to what my body needs.

Occasionally, I do a FitnessBlender workout video or add a little jogging into my walk, but only when I feel the urge. I don’t force myself to stick to a schedule for these things. I also get some extra activity chasing my son around, lifting him up and down, and pretending he’s flying — it’s spontaneous play, but it’s exercise too.

I want exercise to be something I enjoy and crave. I know that regular movement is good for my energy levels, mood, stress management, and overall well-being. I don’t want it to be a chore. The best way to stick with regular exercise long-term is to choose activities you actually want to do so that you look forward to them and seek out opportunities to do them.

I want to view my body as a helpful, capable friend, not as something full of flaws that needs to be punished and reshaped to fit an ideal. My body carries my brain through life. My body allows me to interact with the world around me. I want it to feel strong and full of vitality. That doesn’t fit with a no pain, no gain mindset. My immediate goals with respect to physical activity are increased energy, decreased stress, better sleep, a lifted mood, mental clarity, and a sense of peace and joy. My current approach to fitness meets these goals.

I recently read about a study that found that adults who start running in their fifties can achieve the same level of fitness as those who started decades earlier. I was relieved, because even though an ambitious fitness routine doesn’t serve me well in the current season of my life, I know that my life will not always look like it does now. I won’t always have a small child or a long commute. I won’t always be working to build my career. Someday, fitness and health may be more of a priority for me, and I will likely have more time to devote to it. In 20 years, maybe I’ll be running marathons or biking across the country. But those things don’t align with my current priorities, and that is perfectly fine.

In light of the “no excuses” culture I see on Instagram and other social media outlets, where regular rigorous workouts seem to be elevated well above other values and virtues, I think it’s important to say this: None of us is under any obligation to do Crossfit, or HIIT, or triathlons, or to workout at least five times a week. You are not required to exercise at all, and if you choose not to go to the gym or run three miles a day, that is not a moral failing. We all make choices every day that benefit our health in some ways and detract from it in others. Health is multifaceted — its components also include sleep, socialization, and stress management — and we are all entitled to spend our time here on earth however we wish, so long as we don’t actively harm others.

I encourage you to listen to what your body needs and move it in ways that feel good, whatever that may mean for you. This season, I’m all about alignment: aligning my actions and schedule with my values and desires. I’m going to continue trying to combine physical activity with family and friend time by taking my son for walks and inviting friends to yoga classes. I’d also like to plan a few hikes with my family and friends. This winter will probably also include some playing in the snow, because while I do not enjoy being cold and wet, I’m sure my toddler will have enough fun for both of us.

What does fitness mean to you these days? How do you plan to move your body this winter? Tell us in the comments.

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