Here’s a weird thing you probably don’t know about me: I always win things. Little things, I mean, like contests and giveaways. If I’m attending an event and they’re giving away door prizes, I’d say there’s about an 85% chance that I’ll be walking away with a door prize. It’s kind of uncanny. I’m lucky. I don’t know if it’s intuition or manifestation or what, but on numerous occasions, I have been certain that my name or number was about to be called as a winner seconds before the words were actually spoken.
Over the past few months, I’ve been working on tuning in to my body. The first lesson that Kara Loewentheil teaches in her coaching program is that emotions are physical sensations in the body. To process an emotion, you have to allow yourself to feel the physical sensation and then name it. When I feel a lump in my throat, a knot in my stomach, a racing heart, or heat rising in my face, I now stop and take note of it. I observe the physical sensation with curiosity. I ask myself, what thought is causing this emotion? What can I learn from it? What is my body trying to tell me?
I opened up Jean Chatzky’s weekly HerMoney newsletter yesterday to see an article called “6 Things You’re Unintentionally Doing (Or Saying) In the Workplace That Could be Holding You Back in Your Career.” Career advice articles abound on the internet, and when I clicked on the article, I figured it would probably contain the same kind of trite advice I’ve read over and over again. To my surprise, though, the first tip really resonated with me, and it’s not one I recall seeing in a workplace advice piece before: Read more
I typed this list into my phone early one morning while I was laying in bed and had a moment of clarity. It was 7:14 AM on Monday, January 16, 2017, Martin Luther King Day, before I was a mother and almost exactly a week after I started this blog. I don’t recall exactly, but I think I was writing this list as a guide for myself, based on lessons I’d learned but of which I sometimes needed reminding. It wasn’t well thought-out and I haven’t edited it, but I think it contains some gems of wisdom that are worth sharing, even if I don’t always follow all of these suggestions myself. You’ll probably notice themes that have appeared in other posts I’ve written.
How to Love your Life:
Be grateful for what you have
Get comfortable in your own skin; appreciate what your body does for you and realize that there’s no such thing as perfect
Forgive yourself for your past decisions and actions; understand that things you did and said in your youth were influenced by childhood experiences
Remember that this is the only life you get and it can end at any moment
Go to therapy. If you aren’t already living a life you love, you can probably benefit from talking to a therapist. There are likely things holding you back that you don’t realize. A therapist can help you see them and work through them.
Do something to benefit others
Make time for your hobbies. If you don’t currently have a hobby, think about what you loved doing when you were younger, or try something new.
Try something new. Variety, adventure.
Realize that your reactions to other people often say more about you than about them. When someone frustrates you, angers you, or annoys you, ask yourself why. Are your reactions valid? Are they based on objective truths? Does your response benefit anyone, or will it only make you and others feel worse?
To this I would add: If you aren’t living a life you love right now, make a change. It could be a big, scary change that will really shake things up, but even a small change will do. Just don’t allow yourself to stay stuck for too long. Your time here is limited, and really, what’s the worst that could happen if pursue the most amazing life you can imagine for yourself?
“There is freedom waiting for you, On the breezes of the sky, And you ask “What if I fall?” Oh but my darling, What if you fly?”
― Erin Hanson
Thanks, as always, for reading. If you enjoyed this post, please share.
I’ve been struggling lately with some difficult feelings toward a person I can best describe as a frenemy. We’ve been part of a shared circle of friends for many years, but from the beginning there have been aspects of her personality and behavior that have irritated me. We became closer for a period of time, and I thought that she had outgrown some of the things that had bothered me about her. Then we drifted further apart again, and a couple of incidents led me to feel hurt and frustrated by her. (I’m being deliberately vague in describing this person and her perceived crimes both to protect her privacy and because I don’t intend this post to be an airing of grievances against her. I am fairly certain she does not read this blog, though, and most likely will not see this post.)
My attempt to address my legitimate grievances with her directly was not well-met. I had more or less resolved to simply let go of the friendship, but given our mutual friends, that isn’t very feasible. I have no intention of starting some kind of cold war, and I don’t like holding grudges. But I find it very hard to be my best self when interacting with this person. Criticisms and negative feelings seem to bubble to the surface more often than I’d like. That’s not the person I want to be or a state of mind in which I want to live, so I’m trying hard to understand my feelings and change the way I react to her.
