Parenting a Young Child: The Good Stuff

A toddler crouched down to touch some gravel
My 14-month-old son playing behind our house

If you have children, are thinking of having children, or are at an age where many of your friends have young kids, you are probably bombarded with articles and essays about how difficult parenting is and the toll it takes on parents (especially mothers). News organizations and niche websites are constantly reminding us of how much sleep we lose and how much stress we’re under (while simultaneously piling on heaps of parenting advice, continually reminding us of all the things we should be doing). And it’s true — being responsible for keeping a mostly helpless developing human alive and engaged can be challenging. For example, I spent a substantial part of this past Sunday night listening to my one-year-old uncharacteristically screaming and crying for no discernible reason while I tried unsuccessfully to console him, which made Monday morning even more of a struggle than normal. (The same scene played again on Monday night, so Tuesday was pretty rough too.) Sleep and relaxation are cherished luxuries these days, and I’m carrying the mental load of having to plan and remember a lot more stuff than I once did.

I think there’s a danger, though, in focusing too much on the burdens of raising young kids. Most of us have children because we wanted to have children. Parents are fond of telling expectant parents that they have no idea what they’re in for (“You think you’re tired NOW? Just wait!”), and that may be true to an extent, but it applies just as much to the positives as to the negatives. I’ve heard many a parent say that they never knew they could love someone so fully until they had a child. To counter the rampant complaining about parenting woes circulating the internet, I’d like to take a few minutes to reflect on the ways in which my son has enriched my life and helped me to grow.

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Why We Buy Things We Don’t Need (And How to Stop Making Impulse Purchases)

Close-up of twenty-dollar bills

Despite my stated intention to embrace a smaller wardrobe and buy less apparel, I’ve been been doing a good bit of online clothes shopping lately. Much of the browsing and clicking feels more habitual or impulsive than intentional. In order to feel more in control of my spending and acquiring, I wanted to try to understand what is driving this behavior, both for me individually and for modern consumers in general.

Lately, my impulse purchases have all been clothes and shoes, and they’ve all been made online. I rarely shop at physical stores anymore, and I don’t feel much of a desire to buy, say, home decor items, sporting goods, or kitchen gadgets. I’ve embraced a less-is-more mindset when it comes to the objects that surround me and fill my physical environment. Why, then, has this mindset not expanded to the objects that adorn my body?

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The Beauty of the Brain Dump

The Pacific Ocean at dusk from a Malibu-area beach

Spring is my favorite season. The longer days and warmer weather lead to very noticeable improvements in my energy level, mood, and overall life satisfaction. Suddenly I seem to need less sleep, and I can actually do things in the evenings.

These changes have been particularly welcome this year because I have a lot of things to do right now. As I’ve previously written, I’ve made a big effort to unbusy myself by making fewer commitments and really prioritizing the things that matter most while saying no to the rest. Nevertheless, as a parent of a young child with a full-time career outside the home, things get busy sometimes. There are only so many hours in the day, and inevitably there are multiple tasks and desires competing for the few hours that aren’t devoted to work, commuting, child care, and sleep. When work becomes busier than usual and spills into the early morning and evening hours, squeezing the time available for chores, relationships, and hobbies, I can start to feeling like I’m jumping from one task to the next from the time I rise until the time I go to bed, with no time to reflect or plan. While the adrenaline produced by that lifestyle can be energizing, constantly reacting to immediate demands is not an ideal state of functioning for the long term.

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What Makes You Great and Your Best Yeses

Painting of a magnolia blossom

I just returned from a fabulous professional conference — my second in as many weeks. The travel and registration costs associated with conferences often keep me from attending them, but nearly every time I go to one, I find it well worth the investment. My most recent one was the Tennessee Lawyers’ Association for Women’s annual Empowerment Conference in Nashville. I’m on the board of that organization, but this is the first time I’ve attended to the conference. Let me tell you, I am so glad I was there. My head is buzzing with ideas and inspiration, and it was wonderful to connect with so many women attorneys practicing across the state of Tennessee.

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