“The only good thing about getting older is you get smart enough to avoid unnecessary problems. You know what’s worth spending time on and what’s not. If I had known that at 20, life would have been so much easier, but you have to experience all these things so you figure out how to find your way through the woods.”
-Tom Petty
“I think we are well advised to keep on nodding terms with the people we used to be, whether we find them attractive company or not. Otherwise they turn up unannounced and surprise us, come hammering on the mind’s door at 4 a.m. of a bad night and demand to know who deserted them, who betrayed them, who is going to make amends.”
Joan Didion, Slouching Towards Bethlehem
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*Updated to add some great advice posted by readers on social media – see below.
As we enter October, some states have already released the results of the July bar exam, and other states will post their results soon. I thought this would be a good time offer some advice to this year’s class of new lawyers as they embark on their careers. I spent my first two years after law school working at a fairly large law firm, and the following tips might be less applicable to those working in other settings (i.e., in-house legal departments, government agencies, etc.), but I think most of these points apply across the board. Lawyers, please add your own advice in the comments below.
In this occasional series, I share what I’ve been reading, watching, thinking, and doing.
What I’m Reading:
What I’m Watching: The Good Place
What I’m Listening To: The Gen Why Lawyer Podcast, “Taking 100% Responsibility for Your Happiness with Okeoma Moronu”
Current Guilty Pleasure: Long naps (although truthfully, I don’t really feel that guilty about them!)
Where I’ve Been Recently: Athens and Santorini (in June and July)
What I’m Looking Forward To: The arrival of baby D!
Latest Personal Project: Cooking more and trying new recipes with the help of PlateJoy
Recent Moment of Joy: Feeling another being moving around in my belly. It’s pretty amazing!
Currently Inspired By: Several smart, driven, all-around-impressive women lawyers I’ve met recently through the Tennessee Lawyers’ Association for Women.
Grateful For: The many kind and understanding people in my life who have graciously listened to me complain about the less fun aspects of my pregnancy, and who have cut me some slack while I don’t feel like my usual self. Thank you!
Cheers,
Alexis
Disclosure: I am a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for me to earn fees by linking to Amazon.com and affiliated sites.
This week, Hidden Brain, one of my favorite podcasts-slash-public-radio-programs, explored the topic of regret with a researcher and head of an academic “regret lab.” The program discussed the various positive and negative consequences of regret.
I think I’ve reached a point in my life when I’m able to put most of my regrets to rest. Yes, there are opportunities I missed, chances I wish I’d taken, different paths I could have chosen, and times I acted selfishly or treated others poorly. The last category is, of course, the hardest to get over, because it’s regret combined with guilt. But we can’t undo what we’ve done in the past, and at some point we have to forgive ourselves and commit to behaving better in the future, now that we know better.
