My Kid is Wearing a Store-Bought Halloween Costume, and I’m 100% OK With That

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Giraffe costume in plastic bag and plastic pumpkin bucket on a chair

There’s a scene in Season 3 of the CBC show Workin’ Moms where PR executive Kate’s lawyer husband Nathan agrees to shift his schedule to take care of their toddler son while Kate flies to another city to make a last-minute pitch to a client. The trade-off, Nathan tells Kate, is that she has to take care of the child’s costume for the preschool Halloween recital, which Nathan had previously agreed to handle. Discussing all this on the phone, Nathan says to Kate, “You’re not going to buy him one of those costumes-in-a-bag, are you?” To which Kate responds, somewhat tongue-in-cheek, “What kind of mother do you think I am?” She ends up trying to fashion a costume from a hotel pillowcase and toilet paper rolls in the wee morning hours before catching her flight back home. She arrives at the recital late and interrupts the event to run across the stage and place the ridiculous-looking costume over the head of her son, who is already sitting on the stage among his creatively costumed peers.

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Being Adopted, Part III: Meeting My First Genetic Relatives

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The author with her sister, nephew, and niece, standing in a diner
A blurry photo of the first time I met my half-sister and her kids

You can read the earlier posts in this series here:

I was 27 when I first looked at a person who shared my DNA. On a gray day in late November, I opened the door of a diner and saw my then-12-year old niece, who gave a small smile and pointed to her mother standing at the counter. My sister.

It’s been nearly five months since I alluded to this post, and I’ve procrastinated on writing it. It’s a difficult one for me to write. This meeting happened almost eight years ago now, and I wish I had journaled about it at the time. My memories of my feelings have no doubt been affected by experiences in the intervening years and the soul-searching I’ve done since then. I’m also uncomfortable writing about other people, but I’ll do my best to recount things as honestly as I can.

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4 Great Books for New Parents

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Profile of newborn lying in bed, looking at parent off to the side and holding parent’s hand

There is no shortage of pregnancy and parenting advice out there. With numerous books, blogs, podcasts, classes, and tips from friends, family members, and experts, all offering often conflicting advice, sifting through it all can be overwhelming. I wanted to be well-informed as I prepared to welcome my son into the world, but I also understood that no amount of reading would prepare me for what I was about to experience.

Nevertheless, I did my best to educate myself on pregnancy and caring for a baby. Here are a few books I read that were informative and helpful. They are all available in audiobook format, and I believe I’ve listened to each of them at least twice. If you are an expecting or new parent and aren’t sure where to begin, I’d recommend starting with these.

Pregnancy: Expecting Better: Why the Conventional Pregnancy Wisdom is Wrong and What You Really Need to Know by Emily Oster

Parenting: Brain Rules for Baby: How to Raise a Smart and Happy Child from Zero to Five by John Medina

Parenthood and Commiseration: All Joy and No Fun: The Paradox of Modern Parenthood by Jennifer Senior

Productivity and Motivation: I Know How She Does It: How Successful Women Make the Most of Their Time by Laura Vanderkam

What books helped you in your transition into parenthood? Tell us in the comments.

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Career Pathways and Trusting the Journey

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Carrick-a-Rede Rope Bridge, Northern Ireland. Photo of people walking along a narrow path on a coast toward a tiny rocky island

This Friday, I’ll be speaking at an undergraduate career conference. In preparation for my panel on Advocating for Justice (legal careers), the organizers sent me some questions to consider. The first was how my educational experience sparked my interest in being an attorney or working in the judiciary and making a difference in this sphere.

I laughed a little when I read the question because, as some of you know, I didn’t even consider going to law school until after I had graduated from college. I started trying to think of experiences I’d had in college that may have led me in this direction, but then I realized that pointing to any particular undergraduate experience would be a contrived answer. I decided it was best to just be honest with these students, because the truth is that many of us don’t have some early moment of clarity or grand plan that leads us to our dream careers. For me and many others I’ve met, we got to where we are largely by chance. More accurately, we made a bunch of small decisions without a big vision. We put one foot in front of the other, unable to see the full path but hoping and trusting we’d eventually end up somewhere good.

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Why I Live in Rural America

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View from atop Roan Mountain, Tennessee

I read this opinion piece a few days ago called “Something Special is Happening in Rural America.” It gave me a little added optimism about my chosen home and reminded me of some of the reasons I live here. I’m part of a trend in America away from living in big cities and toward living in smaller towns.

I grew up in a town of about 20,000 people in south central Pennsylvania. Although the town itself was small, it was about 30 minutes from the state capital and in a metropolitan area with a population of more than 500,000. I lived about two hours from Baltimore and Philadelphia and less than four hours from New York City.

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