It’s My Birthday! Thoughts on Life at 35

A bouquet of sunflowers in a vase, a gift for the author’s 35th birthday
A beautiful bouquet of birthday sunflowers I received from some good friends

Today is my 35th birthday. (How did that happen? Wasn’t I just 15?) I’m now the age my mother was when I was born. I don’t know why that seems significant to me, but it does.

My life looks very different now than it did at 30. I have a different job and live in a different place (a home I own rather than rent). I’m married and have a son. My father is no longer here. I’m debt-free except for my mortgage and have made great progress saving for long-term goals. I’m no longer painting and selling my art; instead, I have this blog.

I’m 17 years into my adult life, and I have more clarity about my career and goals than ever before. I’m more focused on what matters and have (mostly) learned to let go of what doesn’t. I’ve whittled down my list of hobbies and ambitions to a few things I really care about. I expect that I still have 35 (or more) years left in my professional career, meaning I’m less than a third of the way into it. Sometimes I feel like I haven’t accomplished as much as I might have liked by this point, but then I think about the numbers and realize that, barring some tragedy, there really is plenty of time to do the things I want to do.

These days, I’m well aware of my own agency. If I’m unhappy, it’s my responsibility, and it’s up to me to fix it. I try to remind myself of this regularly. When I start to complain or blame other people for things, I listen to myself and then take a deep breath and think about what I personally have done to contribute to the situation and what I can do to make it better. If I want to have a certain lifestyle, it’s up to me to design it and take the steps to make it happen. I understand that I really only have three valuable resources: time, money, and attention. It’s my job to decide how I want to spend all of them, and to make the tradeoffs necessary to reach a balance that reflects my priorities.

My thirties have been good to me so far. I have enough experience to have gained a bit of wisdom, but I have enough life ahead of me to still feel like the possibilities are virtually limitless. My free time and energy have taken a hit from my toddler and autoimmune disease, but I’m making an effort to go easier on myself, live in the moment, and tune into my body and mind so I can give them what they need. Overall, I still feel young.

Here’s to another year full of love, joy, learning, creating, adventures, connections, and gratitude! Cheers to 35!

A photo of the author on the eve of her 35th birthday
Returning home from celebrating my birthday over dinner with friends

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