You may have noticed a decrease in the frequency of my posts this spring and summer. It’s been an unsettling few months for all of us. I’ve been more inclined to turn inward, and this season has felt like one for listening rather than talking.

That is especially the case when it comes to the racial injustice that has captured our collective attention recently. I haven’t written about the killings or the protests, our history of racial oppression and violence, or systemic racism, largely because it feels as though anything I could say would be inadequate. I’ve had some discussions with white friends and acquaintances about these topics, although the pandemic has limited opportunities for organic conversations. I recognize the need to challenge racism in my own peer group, in all its iterations, as uncomfortable as it may be. I haven’t always done a great job of that in the past, but I’m committed to pushing myself to do it going forward. Mostly, though, I’ve been educating myself, reading and listening to Black voices. I am working on continually questioning my own reactions and assumptions and on becoming more aware my own privilege.

At the beginning of the year, I set a resolution to meditate daily. A few months into 2020, when silent meditations were becoming particularly challenging, I decided to return to guided meditations for a while. I purchased a year-long subscription to the Ten Percent Happier app and completed several of its courses, which consist of a short daily video discussing a topic or question related to meditation followed by a meditation led by an experienced teacher. The app has been beneficial in helping to solidify and deepen my meditation practice. I’m currently participating in a 21-day Summer Sanity Challenge through the Ten Percent Happier app, which is a nice back-to-basics reset course. If you’re curious about meditation but aren’t sure where to start, or if you’re a lapsed meditator looking to get back on track, I recommend this app — it’s high-quality content is well worth the price. Becoming more aware of our thoughts and judgments, and developing the ability to observe them without accepting them as true, is crucial if we want to transform the way we interact with the world. This work is as important to dismantling our internal prejudices as it is to coping with the fear and uncertainty of a global pandemic.

In addition to meditating, I joined an online thought work and coaching program called The Clutch. The coach is a former lawyer named Kara Loewentheil. The program has a feminist perspective and focuses on questioning and reprogramming our thoughts to experience greater confidence and peace. It’s all about managing our minds rather than letting our unmanaged thoughts and reactions control us in unhelpful ways. The basic idea is that our feelings — physical sensations in our bodies — are caused by our thoughts, which are mental stories we tell ourselves about otherwise neutral circumstances. We make a circumstance mean something, which triggers an emotion and leads us to take certain actions, and those actions tend to create results that prove the thought right. By intentionally practicing new thoughts, we can trigger more desirable emotions and take more productive actions that lead to helpful results. The work can at times seem tedious, but it is transformative, and a perfect complement to a consistent meditation practice.

I’ve also spent the last several months preparing to welcome my second child. I’ve tried to savor the time I have with my two-year-old son before he becomes a big brother. I’ve readied my heart, home, and life to become a mother of two and a family of four. I feel a little nervous about the transition, but I’m very ready to meet my daughter and to once again experience the incredible gift of childbirth. I’m approaching 41 weeks of gestation and have not yet gone into labor (a situation that caught me by surprise, given that my son arrived at 39 weeks), so I’m scheduled for an induction. As I anxiously await my baby girl’s arrival, if you have any stories or advice to share about having a second child, I’d love to hear them.

Wishing you all wellness, love, and peace,

Alexis