“Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.”
-Viktor E. Frankl
Hand-lettered design available from ContempCalligraphy on Etsy
Man’s Search for Meaning by Viktor E. Frankl
Caroline wrote to me with the following question:
I struggle with my self-confidence. Do you have any suggestions for building self-esteem? I love your confidence. Do you remember any lessons your parents taught you that helped your self-esteem/confidence?
Thanks for the question, Caroline! First, let me say this: You have just as much right to be on this planet as everyone else. You are a unique, worthy person who has many gifts to give: gifts of perspective, kindness, creativity, and more. We are all works in process, learning and growing as we move through life. Though it may at times seem like others have everything figured out while you’re still struggling to feel comfortable in your own skin, rest assured that everyone has moments of self-doubt.
The writing I do falls into three broad categories: (1) blog posts; (2) pieces that might someday be published (personal essays, poems, fiction); and (3) things I write only for myself (and I suppose the writing I do for work is a fourth category, but that’s a whole different animal). Today, I’d like to talk about the third category. What’s the point of writing things that no one else will ever read?
Lately, I’ve been trying to grow my attention span. I get distracted easily, and having the internet at an arm’s length most of the day does not help. But to be as productive as possible in my job, and to enter flow states and do good creative work, I need to be able to focus on one task for an extended period of time.
Like many people today, I’m a chronic multitasker. In my free time, you’ll rarely find me doing just one thing. I’m talking on the phone while driving, listening to an audiobook while gardening, watching a TV show while cooking, texting a friend while listening to a podcast while putting away laundry. Though always doing two (or more) things at once may make me feel more productive, I know that it reduces the amount of attention I’m devoting to each activity. I think multitasking too much can lead me to feel less calm, too. My brain sometimes needs silence, and the chance to devote itself to just one thing. So I’m making a conscious effort to do more unitasking (also known as monotasking).
It isn’t an easy change to make, and I frequently slip back into bad habits. I wrote down some rules for myself, and I review them regularly to help me stay on track. Here are a few things I’m doing to try to minimize distractions and increase my focus.
We all have things about ourselves and our lives that we’d like to change or improve. A study published last year showed that less than three percent of Americans meet all four markers of a healthy lifestyle (regular exercise, healthy diet, low body fat percentage, and not smoking). I would guess that most of us know we need to eat better, exercise more, and quit smoking, but change is hard. Though setting ambitious goals might cause us feel energized at first, lofty goals can make change even harder. We have an idea of where we want to end up, but we don’t know how to get there, or we get overwhelmed along the way and give up. Read more