I’ve been taking a summer hiatus from blogging, but I had to return today because it’s my birthday! I’ve now spent a full 37 years on this planet. I say this every year, but it remains true: I can’t believe I’m that old. Wasn’t I just 17?
As I write this on the evening of Mother’s Day 2021, I sit perched on a barstool overlooking my messy kitchen and cluttered family room. I am tired but mostly content. I was determined to spend the day enjoying time with my family rather than tidying up and doing laundry or yardwork or the other chores that tend to fill my weekends. I slept in this morning, which was lovely, although it would probably take a solid year of late mornings to put a dent in the sleep deficit I’ve accumulated over the past few years.
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This is my last week of maternity leave. I don’t plan on having any more kids, so heading back to work on Monday marks the end of the newborn season of my life. I had anticipated having children for a long time, and after I had my son, I’d looked forward to experiencing a second pregnancy and birth, and to welcoming a daughter. I have my ideal family now, but it’s a little bittersweet to think that I won’t be doing it all again.
As hard as it will be to leave my baby on Monday, I’m eager for something of a return to normalcy. I’m not sure what normalcy even means in 2020, but maternity leave can feel like a pause in life, and I think I’m ready to hit play again.
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My daughter was born a week and a half ago, which means I’m in the midst of that happy but sleep-deprived haze characteristic of the first few weeks or months caring for a new baby. I think she looks like her big brother, but so far, that’s about the only thing they have in common.
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Today is my son’s second birthday. Aside from a few notes in his baby book and my journal, I’ve never really written about his birth. I’m now 15 weeks pregnant with his little sister. As I prepare to do it all again, I’m reflecting on the day two years ago when I first met the tiny, wrinkly baby who has become my sweet, spirited, fearless, open, curious, affectionate child.
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