Happy Holidays! The season may look different this year than in years past, but I have to say, this was one of the best Christmases I can remember. My son (2 years 10 months old) loved every single present he got and wanted to play with each one before we could convince him to open another one. He drew on a rainbow scratch pad, played with Peppa Pig characters, bowled, got a huge kick out of recording his voice on a microphone and playing it back, banged the keys on a toy piano…and I had the joy of watching his excitement. My daughter (4 months) was pretty relaxed all day, just taking it all in.
Here in Tennessee, businesses are starting to open back up again, but my behavior hasn’t changed. I’m still very much isolating at home, and probably will be for some time. I don’t think we’ve seen the worst of this pandemic yet, at least not in our region. Given my pregnancy and autoimmune disease, I’d rather be as cautious as possible for now.
While it’s hard not to see my friends and do some of the things I used to do, I remain in good spirits. Below are a few more benefits of this new lifestyle that I’ve noticed.
One of the things I miss most since becoming a mother is having blocks of quiet time to myself to really focus on something — reading, writing, or other creative or intellectual pursuits. Both my job and my hobbies require focused attention. I do a lot of thinking, analyzing, and writing, and those things are hard to do when distracted or in short blocks of time. When I do have quiet time at home (which is usually late in the evening), it’s easy to let my tired mind zone out by watching Netflix or clicking and scrolling online. During the workday, my brain often strays to the numerous little “to-dos” that I have to keep track of: remember to buy more diaper cream, get a birthday gift for so-and-so, pick out a picture day outfit for D, RSVP for the event on Saturday, etc. (This, for those who don’t know, is the mental load that working moms disproportionately carry.) Because I don’t get enough sleep these days, it takes discipline to stay focused on the task and hand and not let my brain run down all these rabbit holes all the time.
Spring is my favorite season. The longer days and warmer weather lead to very noticeable improvements in my energy level, mood, and overall life satisfaction. Suddenly I seem to need less sleep, and I can actually do things in the evenings.
These changes have been particularly welcome this year because I have a lot of things to do right now. As I’ve previously written, I’ve made a big effort to unbusy myself by making fewer commitments and really prioritizing the things that matter most while saying no to the rest. Nevertheless, as a parent of a young child with a full-time career outside the home, things get busy sometimes. There are only so many hours in the day, and inevitably there are multiple tasks and desires competing for the few hours that aren’t devoted to work, commuting, child care, and sleep. When work becomes busier than usual and spills into the early morning and evening hours, squeezing the time available for chores, relationships, and hobbies, I can start to feeling like I’m jumping from one task to the next from the time I rise until the time I go to bed, with no time to reflect or plan. While the adrenaline produced by that lifestyle can be energizing, constantly reacting to immediate demands is not an ideal state of functioning for the long term.
