”We choose to go to the moon in this decade and do the other things, not because they are easy, but because they are hard, because that goal will serve to organize and measure the best of our energies and skills, because that challenge is one that we are willing to accept, one we are unwilling to postpone, and one which we intend to win . . . .”
—John F. Kennedy
Last Sunday, I did something highly unusual for me. I treated myself to some spa time, took a boat out on the lake with my family, swam a little, and went out to dinner. The unusual part was that I did all of this while wearing no makeup. Though I haven’t really kept track, it’s possible that last Sunday was my first makeup-free day in nearly 20 years. (Ok, there may have been one or two days after I gave birth, but they were days on which I didn’t leave my house.)
“If you don’t have peace within yourself, learning cannot take place.”
—Aki Kurose
“It’s bigger in your mind. Once you say it, it gets smaller.”
—Jane Villanueva, Jane the Virgin
The first anniversary of my dad’s death is approaching, and grief hit me like a punch in the stomach a few days ago. I knew these few weeks would be tough, as I remembered in vivid detail the events of a year ago leading up to his death. I’ve avoided writing in my journal for days at a time because I didn’t want to see what I’d written last year. I was in a terrible mood for a few days and didn’t realize why at first.
There hasn’t been a single day in the past year when I haven’t thought of my dad. There are photos of him in my office and throughout my house. Sometimes the memories bring tears, often they bring smiles, and occasionally, they bring both at the same time. But this recent grief was different. It was like a dark cloud, a heavy weight — not just sad memories, but something more palpable. My whole body felt depressed.