On Matrescence, the Transition into Motherhood

- Alexis Leave a comment

Photo of the author holding a baby and looking into the distance

A few days ago, I stumbled across a New York Times article from last year called The Birth of a Mother.  The piece discusses matrescence — the transition into motherhood — and some of the common emotional challenges experienced by new mothers.  I could relate to much of what was in the article, particularly the part about ambivalence.

In my experience, few new mothers talk about these things openly.  Our society tends to focus far more on the baby than the mother, and once birth has occurred, we expect mothers (and fathers) to be themselves again in no time.  Many women internalize these unrealistic expectations, and they hide the disappointment they inevitably feel because they believe they are supposed to be feeling pure joy.

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Editing My Bucket List

- Alexis Leave a comment

Still life painting of toys and small objects in front of a window sill

Another blog I read recently asked readers what hobbies are on their bucket lists.  The post got me thinking about goals and priorities.  When I was in my early teens, I wrote a loooong bucket list (before bucket lists had a name) and taped it inside my bedroom closet to look at from time to time.  I don’t remember everything that was on the list, but I know it was ambitious and all over the place.  It included things like learning to ride horses, to play a musical instrument, to speak various languages, and living abroad.  It was a lined piece of notebook paper with a dream handwritten on every line.  Most of the entries were not things I’d thought about extensively, but rather things that just seemed like they’d be cool to do, or to be able to say I’d done.

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Enough

- Alexis Leave a comment

I am enough. I have enough. I do enough.

I am doing enough. I have done enough. I did enough. I gave enough. I tried hard enough.

This is enough for me. You are enough. To be here is enough.  It is enough just to be alive.

Love is enough. There is enough love. There is enough to go around. There’s enough for everyone.  There’s already enough. We have enough to give freely.

Enough said.  Enough already.  I’ve had enough.  We’ve had enough of this.  Enough of that.  Enough!

That’s enough. That’s good enough. Relax now; you’ve done enough. You are enough.

*Today’s post is a little unusual, a poem of sorts. This piece was born of a middle-of-the-night contemplation of abundance and sufficiency at the beginning of a season characterized by excess: more things, more commitments, more food. My mind settled on the word enough and its many uses. It’s an understated but powerful word, signaling, paradoxically, both acceptance and an unwillingness to accept any longer. It settles peacefully into contentment, or it draws a line in the sand. Perhaps it does both at the same time. “Enough of all that; I have enough already.”

(It’s also just a beautifully strange word when you look at it and say it over and over again.)

A late fall landscape