The Beauty of the Brain Dump

- Alexis 2 Comments
The Pacific Ocean at dusk from a Malibu-area beach

Spring is my favorite season. The longer days and warmer weather lead to very noticeable improvements in my energy level, mood, and overall life satisfaction. Suddenly I seem to need less sleep, and I can actually do things in the evenings.

These changes have been particularly welcome this year because I have a lot of things to do right now. As I’ve previously written, I’ve made a big effort to unbusy myself by making fewer commitments and really prioritizing the things that matter most while saying no to the rest. Nevertheless, as a parent of a young child with a full-time career outside the home, things get busy sometimes. There are only so many hours in the day, and inevitably there are multiple tasks and desires competing for the few hours that aren’t devoted to work, commuting, child care, and sleep. When work becomes busier than usual and spills into the early morning and evening hours, squeezing the time available for chores, relationships, and hobbies, I can start to feeling like I’m jumping from one task to the next from the time I rise until the time I go to bed, with no time to reflect or plan. While the adrenaline produced by that lifestyle can be energizing, constantly reacting to immediate demands is not an ideal state of functioning for the long term.

Read more

What Makes You Great and Your Best Yeses

- Alexis 2 Comments
Painting of a magnolia blossom

I just returned from a fabulous professional conference — my second in as many weeks. The travel and registration costs associated with conferences often keep me from attending them, but nearly every time I go to one, I find it well worth the investment. My most recent one was the Tennessee Lawyers’ Association for Women’s annual Empowerment Conference in Nashville. I’m on the board of that organization, but this is the first time I’ve attended to the conference. Let me tell you, I am so glad I was there. My head is buzzing with ideas and inspiration, and it was wonderful to connect with so many women attorneys practicing across the state of Tennessee.

Read more

Taking My Own Advice

- Alexis Leave a comment
Yellow wildflowers in Southern California

If you’ve been reading this blog for a while, you might be under the impression that I am some wise, blissful, perfectly balanced person who has life all figured out. Well, let me assure you, I do not always have it all together. I’m stumbling through life just like everyone else, striving to be the best version of myself, and constantly reevaluating my priorities and goals.

Sometimes I go back through my old writings in an effort to get myself back on track and remember what I was thinking during moments of clarity. The truth is that I often need to reiterate my guiding principles to myself, because it can be easy to fall back into old habits and thought patterns. This is why, I think, many religious people read passages of scripture daily — if we want to live out our values, it helps to continually review them and keep them top of mind. The beauty of writing on a regular basis is that it allows me not only to see how far I’ve come, but to recognize patterns in my thinking and behavior and to hold myself accountable for doing the things I said I would do.

Lately, I’ve found myself especially in need of some reminders. So I’ve looked back to past posts and rounded up some sage advice from past me to present me. Here’s some of what I’ve needed to hear recently:

Read more

Settling Into Equilibrium: Some Thoughts on Balance

- Alexis Leave a comment
Ghost print, monotype, rumpled fabric

Finding balance in modern life is a topic written about with such frequency that I’ve begun to roll my eyes whenever I see a piece with the words “work-life balance” in the title. I hope you’ll indulge me as I again explore this topic about which so much has already been said. Like Sheryl Sandberg, I dislike the phrase “work-life balance” because it implies that work and life are separate and exclusive domains. To paraphrase Sandberg, who could ever feel good about work when it’s billed as the opposite of life?

Work is but one aspect of life, and it’s an important element. It helps to give meaning to life, to give us purpose, to keep us striving and feeling the thrill of accomplishments (in the best scenario, anyway). I am happiest when I’m industrious and can see the fruits of my labor. Someone once told me that they view life as a four-quadrant matrix made up of family and friendships, profession, health and fitness, and spirituality. At any given time, one of the quadrants may demand more of your attention than the others, but to live our best lives, we have to attend to all of them regularly. I picture the quadrants on the top of one of those toys that you can spin and push in any direction and it will always return to standing. Sometimes one quadrant will be up while another is down, and some teetering may happen, but the four areas will all eventually balance each other and keep the toy steady.

Read more

Snapshot: March 3, 2019

- Alexis Leave a comment

In this occasional series, I share what I’ve been reading, watching, thinking, and doing.

Sitting on the porch listening to the rain on this Sunday afternoon

What I’m Reading:

Nightstand: The Primal Wound: Understanding the Adopted Child; Being Adopted: The Lifelong Search for Self
Handbag: Man’s Search for Meaning (yes, still)
Audiobooks: Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance; There There (for a book club I just joined – I read part of this and listened to part of it)
Article: “This is the Secret to Being a Successful Working Mom” (don’t let the click-bait-esque title fool you – there’s a lot of good advice in this piece)

What I’m Watching: The Good Place; Unbreakable Kimmie Schmidt (I’ve been watching very little TV lately and haven’t seen a movie in ages)

What I’m Listening To: I’m way behind on listening to podcasts, but today I listened to this episode of HerMoney with Laura Ling talking about resiliency

Current Guilty Pleasure: Looking at tiny houses and renovated RVs on Instagram

Where I’ve Been Recently: Beaufort, SC for a long weekend in January

What I’m Looking Forward To: Going to a yoga class with a friend this week. It’s a small thing, but I don’t go to many yoga classes these days, and spending time with a friend is always a bright spot in my week.

Where I’m Going Next: Malibu and Nashville for professional conferences

Latest Personal Project: I don’t know that I’d really classify this as a project, but I’ve begun listening to positive affirmations and hypnotherapy tracks on YouTube, and I think they are helping to shift my perspective.

Recent Moment of Joy: Teaching my son to say “thank you”

Grateful For: Increasingly longer days and the lack of snow here

Have a wonderful week!

Alexis

PS: If you were hoping for the next installment in my series about being adopted, it’s coming soon — I just needed a little break from writing about that for a while.