I got a request to write about minimalism from a mom’s perspective, and right before my son’s first Christmas seems like a great time to do that. Some background for anyone who hasn’t been following me for a while: Over the past year or two, I’ve become increasingly interested in the concept of minimalism. I’ve been working to declutter my home, curb my shopping habit, pare down my wardrobe, and generally eliminate from my life those things that are unnecessary and not useful so that I can better focus my attention and resources on the things that are important to me.

While I hesitate to call myself a minimalist (I still own a lot of stuff), my mindset about the acquisition and retention of belongings has shifted in a way that I suspect will be permanent. It’s become easier for me to let go of what isn’t serving me, to resist the urge to buy new things, and to give more generously. Getting rid of excess stuff has been cathartic, and having fewer things in my house feels both calming and energizing. Letting go of unnecessary material things is really about something bigger — with each item I remove, I’m releasing either an attachment to the past or a worry or insecurity about the future. I’ve rid myself of weighty reminders of who I once was and what I felt I should be or do. Paring down my possessions has been a truly freeing experience.

One tricky thing, though, is that I don’t live alone. In addition to the other adult in my house who has been slightly less eager to part with his things, I also have a ten-month-old. Most parents will tell you that babies come with a lot of stuff. I’m sure this wasn’t always the case; surely hundreds of years ago babies had far less gear and fewer toys than they seem to require now. Still, they have needs that are quite different than adult needs, and there are a lot of products out there that make caring for a baby easier. There are some items that are non-negotiable, like a car seat if you own a car and a safe crib if you expect your baby to sleep somewhere other than the floor. Beyond these essentials, there are high chairs, swings, carriers, strollers, jumpers, bath tubs, changing tables, rocking chairs, play mats, and more. We have all of these things, and I don’t feel bad about that at all. We’ve used every one extensively.

So far, I’ve bought very few items for my son, and even fewer new items. Most of his belongings were either lent to us or handed down from friends. The borrowed items will be returned in due course, so having them around the house doesn’t bother me — I know they’re only there temporarily. The handful of larger items that were gifts or purchases I know will be well-used, and when we’re done with them, I’ll give them to another family, donate them, or consign them. By using second-hand items and passing them along when finished, I know I’m contributing less waste to landfills and consuming fewer of the environmental resources that are used in the manufacturing process. I’m also spending less money, and I can use the savings to pay for meaningful experiences or to save for his future education.

Much of the furniture in the baby’s room was repurposed. The bookshelf, laundry hamper, ottoman, metal trash can, and a cubby storage unit came from elsewhere in our house. The dresser came from my childhood bedroom, and the rocking chair came from my parents’ house. I bought a crib that converts to a toddler bed so that we’ll be able to use it for several years before passing it on to someone else. I bought a second-hand playard and changing table. While all of these things take up some space in our house, I don’t feel that they are wasteful purchases or unnecessary clutter. We have plenty of space for them, and they really have made our lives easier. Could we perhaps do without some of these things? Probably, but I don’t see any need to eliminate them yet because they add value through their usefulness.

There are also a lot of baby products on the market that I concluded were not worth purchasing. I did a good bit of research while I was pregnant and concluded that I did not need a Bumbo seat or a Baby Brezza or a number of other things that we could easily do without. I also passed over adorable baby outfits. We received a ton of hand-me-down clothes and gifted apparel. Babies grow quickly and have no sense of fashion. They also have a way of staining their clothes frequently. He doesn’t need to wear brand new name-brand clothes. He doesn’t care what he wears. As long as he is warm and comfortable, there is no reason to buy him a stylish wardrobe. On the few occasions when we have needed to supplement the things we received from others, I’ve purchased second-hand clothes for him from consignment stores. I buy most of my own clothes second-hand today, mostly to avoid supporting unethical industry practices and to reduce my environmental impact, so it makes sense that I would also buy my son’s clothes second-hand.

We have plenty of toys and board books. Most of them were gifts, and some of the toys were mine when I was a child. I like the sentimentality of watching him play with things that I once played with, and I know my mom does as well. That said, I’m not going to keep them all once he tires of them. He already has more toys than he plays with, and he won’t remember most of this stuff, just as I don’t remember most of it from my childhood. His father and I have talked about storing away most of his toys and only bringing out a few at a time for him to use. We’ve asked our family members not to buy him too many things. We want him to appreciate what he has and not feel overwhelmed and distracted by too many choices. Having fewer toys and less clutter allows kids’ creativity to flourish. I’ve only begun to scratch the surface of the research on this topic, but it make sense to me. If an uncluttered space helps me to feel more calm and creative, shouldn’t it do the same for my son? Besides, everyday objects intrigue him at least as much as toys. He loves playing with springy door stops and anything on hinges.

I know that when my son is a little older, he will probably be influenced by all the advertising directed at children and will begin asking for specific toys. We don’t watch much television, but I’m sure he will feel the pull of consumerism anyway, as we all do. He’ll want the things his friends have. I hope to be able to teach him that the joy of owning the latest thing is fleeting, that having lots of stuff won’t make us happy, and that our worth as people isn’t tied to what we own. I want him to understand that our consumption has consequences — for ourselves, for others, and for our planet. I want him to appreciate the comforts and luxuries he has and to understand that while he might not get everything he desires, there are many children living with far less.

This year, for my son’s first Christmas, I bought him just two toys, both from a consignment store. I intend to establish a tradition of simple Christmases, starting now. By giving him fewer things, I hope he will appreciate them and use them more.

If you’re interested in simplifying as a parent, I recommend checking out Denaye Barahona’s Simple Families blog, podcast, and Facebook community. There are also several people writing in the minimalist space who have children, including Joshua Becker and Leo Babauta (who has six kids).

Are you striving to give your kids fewer things? How is it going? What are your strategies, and what effects have you seen in your children? Tell us your experiences in the comments.

If you enjoyed this post, please share.