Category: Self-Improvement

Here’s What Self Care Looks Like to Me

- Alexis Leave a comment
Charcoal drawing of a woman’s head with eyes closed

Charcoal drawing of a woman’s head with eyes closed

My son and I both came down with a cold this week (not surprising given that he started day care last week), so this seems like a good time to discuss self care.  Over the past few years, the concept of self care has taken over the internet, with women’s websites constantly telling us we need to escape from our lives and indulge ourselves with expensive products, time-consuming rituals, and unhealthy splurges — as if we need one more thing to do.  (Ever notice that these self-care articles rarely seem to be directed at men? I guess the assumption is that they already know how to take care of themselves.)

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Capturing Little Bits of Time

- Alexis Leave a comment

Photo of a breast pump on a desk in front of a window

In the early weeks of motherhood, my days followed roughly this pattern:  breastfeed or pump milk for 20-30 (sometimes as long as 45) minutes; wash bottles, eat, change diaper, do laundry, and/or sleep all within the next hour and a half; repeat.  Oh, and try to spend some time with the baby somewhere in there.  I tracked my pumping frequency and output for my lactation consultant.  As an example, on February 27 of this year, I pumped at 12:15 AM, 2:30 AM, 5:15 AM, 7:45 AM, 10:15 AM, 1:15 PM, 3:00 PM, 5:15 PM, 7:15 PM, and 9:00 PM.  (If you haven’t had a baby and are under the mistaken impression that maternity leave is a restful vacation, think again.)

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Turning To Your Network in Challenging Times

- Alexis Leave a comment

A hill covered with fall foliage next to a lake, deer a bright blue sky with white clouds

Every now and then, I have a recurring dream that many others have experienced as well.  I’m in a classroom, and it’s the end of the semester.  I had enrolled in this class but had forgotten about it.  I haven’t been there in weeks.  I haven’t done any of the reading.  I know none of the material.  It’s almost time for the final exam, and I’m panicking.  I’m completely unprepared, and I’m going to fail.

When this dream appears, it’s an obvious sign that I’m feeling overwhelmed.  I usually try to take it as a cue to reassess my priorities, remove a thing or two from my schedule, and maybe set aside some time to meditate, exercise, or otherwise relax and regroup.

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Project 333, 3 Weeks In

- Alexis Leave a comment
A photo of my 33-piece fall wardrobe

It’s been three weeks since I started Project 333, where I limit my wardrobe to 33 items for three months, so this seemed like a fitting time for an update.  Boxing up the rest of my clothes the day before I started the challenge was oddly anxiety-provoking.  I felt a little sad packing away items I’d carefully selected, on which I’d spent good money not so long ago.  I reminded myself that I wasn’t necessarily saying goodbye to those things forever, just taking them out of rotation for a little while.  But my reaction made me notice how attached I am to some of my possessions, how tied they are to my self-image, and how hard it can be to let go.

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You Don’t Know What Someone Else Thinks Unless They Tell You

- Alexis Leave a comment

Painting of two people sitting at the edge of a pool

I’m convinced that a significant amount of the stress in my life comes from assuming I know what other people are thinking.  Case in point: after being away on vacation, my yard was a mess this week.  The grass was overgrown and there were weeds everywhere.  It finally got mowed Saturday afternoon, but every time I saw it this week, I felt anxious and guilty.  I feel this way every time the yard becomes overgrown, and it has nothing to do with the grass.  If I lived on some remote parcel of land far from any other houses, I wouldn’t give it a second thought.  I care because I don’t want my neighbors to think poorly of me.  I assume that they are judging me every time they drive by my house or look out their windows.

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