On Matrescence, the Transition into Motherhood

Photo of the author holding a baby and looking into the distance

A few days ago, I stumbled across a New York Times article from last year called The Birth of a Mother.  The piece discusses matrescence — the transition into motherhood — and some of the common emotional challenges experienced by new mothers.  I could relate to much of what was in the article, particularly the part about ambivalence.

In my experience, few new mothers talk about these things openly.  Our society tends to focus far more on the baby than the mother, and once birth has occurred, we expect mothers (and fathers) to be themselves again in no time.  Many women internalize these unrealistic expectations, and they hide the disappointment they inevitably feel because they believe they are supposed to be feeling pure joy.

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Editing My Bucket List

Still life painting of toys and small objects in front of a window sill

Another blog I read recently asked readers what hobbies are on their bucket lists.  The post got me thinking about goals and priorities.  When I was in my early teens, I wrote a loooong bucket list (before bucket lists had a name) and taped it inside my bedroom closet to look at from time to time.  I don’t remember everything that was on the list, but I know it was ambitious and all over the place.  It included things like learning to ride horses, to play a musical instrument, to speak various languages, and living abroad.  It was a lined piece of notebook paper with a dream handwritten on every line.  Most of the entries were not things I’d thought about extensively, but rather things that just seemed like they’d be cool to do, or to be able to say I’d done.

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Making the Most of the Time Change

Pastel drawing of a sidewalk light at night

Today is the last day of Daylight Saving Time for 2018, and at 2:00 tomorrow morning, our clocks will reset to 1:00.  Unless, that is, you live in one of the jurisdictions that has shunned the outdated practice.  The modern wisdom of Daylight Saving Time is debatable.  It can have negative health consequences and is of questionable economic benefit.  But for most of us in the United States, changing our clocks twice a year is unavoidable, so we might as well try to use it to our advantage.

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Project 333: Who’s With Me?

A photo of my 33-piece fall wardrobe

Over the past few months (years?), a thought has occurred to me with increasing frequency: I spend a LOT of time, mental energy, and money on what I wear.  From reading fashion blogs, to planning the next day’s outfit, to trying to find the perfect companion for that unique item I bought, to online shopping, to trying on and returning purchases, clothes and accessories have claimed too much of my life.  So I’m ready to say enough.  It’s time to refocus all that energy and money on more important things.

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Why I Don’t Hate My Student Loans

Close-up of twenty-dollar bills

A couple of months ago, about eight years after graduating from law school, I used my tax refund to pay off the remainder of my law school loans.  It felt amazing.  I have a few student loans left from undergrad, and I’m on track to pay those in full by the end of this year.  (I paid the law school loans first because their interest rate was higher.) Watching the balances shrink as I’ve thrown money at them has been exhilarating, and I’m excited to be able to focus more on saving and meeting other big financial goals going forward.  I began attending college in 2002, and more than sixteen years later, I’m finally almost finished paying for it.

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