I’ve been taking a summer hiatus from blogging, but I had to return today because it’s my birthday! I’ve now spent a full 37 years on this planet. I say this every year, but it remains true: I can’t believe I’m that old. Wasn’t I just 17?

The past year has been a hard one, but also a joyful one. This time last year, I was 38.5 weeks pregnant and eagerly awaiting the arrival of my second child. She had a delayed, rocky entrance, but she is delightful and I am endlessly grateful for the opportunity to be her mom.

Keeping an infant and preschooler healthy and happy is tough work, especially when you throw in a pandemic and the fact that we have no family nearby. I try to stay upbeat and muster all the energy I can, but there have occasionally been days when I have felt utterly exhausted and at the end of my rope. And yet somehow, we’ve made it to bedtime, and I’ve awakened semi-refreshed and have done it all again. Like everything else in life, it’s all temporary — the tiredness, the frustration, the giggles, the snuggles, all of it.

Me-time is scarce right now (that hiatus may not have been entirely intentional), but I’m trying to find more of it. When I get some quiet time to myself, I try not to squander it on things that aren’t meaningful or enjoyable to me. Becoming a mother of two has led me to jettison a lot of unnecessary concerns from my life. If it isn’t truly important or fun, I don’t have the time or mental space for it. When I’m focused, I am FOCUSED. I’ve got to get things done while I have the chance. If I don’t respond to your text right away, I’m probably either (a) in the zone, trying to meet a self-imposed work deadline so that I can leave my computer at the office by 5:30-ish, or (b) doing my absolute best to be present with my kids so I don’t miss those precious, fleeting moments.

Despite the sleep- and relaxation-deficits, I feel like I’m in the prime of my life. Most days, I have more energy than I should. I’ve acquired significant skills, knowledge, and wisdom in my profession. On a daily (hourly?) basis, my kids inspire me to be a better person. I’ve obtained greater mastery over my thoughts and behaviors. At 37, I know who I am and what I like, and I really don’t care what anyone else thinks about me. I spend very little time wondering what’s on other people’s minds these days. My attention is elsewhere, and I feel fairly certain that they are not focusing on me either.

I’m gearing up to start my business and really become the architect of my own life, which is incredibly exciting. In less than eight months, I will be self-employed, working on building something great from the ground up. All my remaining excuses will be gone: if I find myself dissatisfied with some aspect of my life, it will be solely my responsibility to change it. If I want more time, money, flexibility, or fun, I will have to create it. Isn’t that the pinnacle of freedom and empowerment? If it is to be, it is up to me.

One fun thing I did for myself over the past year was to work with a personal stylist and image consultant. It’s the kind of thing I would have previously dismissed as vain and frivolous, but I’m so glad I made the investment. After two pregnancies and several years cycling through maternity and nursing-friendly clothes, I decided it was time to reassess my wardrobe in light of my changed body and evolving needs and goals. I learned about the silhouettes and colors that look best on me, and I also thought a lot about how my clothes support my lifestyle and the messages they send. I’m at a point in my life when I want to be comfortable and active with my kids, but also visible and polished in my career. I’ve worked to define a signature style for myself, and I’m embracing color and accessories. I’m no longer interested in blending in. I want to be seen for the assertive, confident, adventurous, creative person that I am.

So here’s to showing up as my best self in every way, to finding the joy in every day, and to creating a life I love. Here’s to realizing the results of years of planning and preparation as I take this huge next step in my career. Thirty-seven is going to be a great year.

Cheers!

Alexis