Anyone who knew me when I was younger would surely tell you that I did not have an innate interest in fashion. One of my good friends from high school followed all the trends, knew what brands celebrities were wearing, idolized Carrie Bradshaw, and aspired to a career in fashion merchandizing. I occasionally picked up bits of knowledge from her, but otherwise, I was pretty clueless. I bought most of my clothes from the clearance racks at places like Kohl’s. As a result, I often dressed more like a grandmother than a stylish teen or 20-something. When I interviewed for my first post-college job, I wore a too-tight ivory suit from Target, and one of the interviewers kindly told me afterward that I had neglected to clip the “X” of thread at the back hem of the skirt that held the two pieces of the slit together. When I had to attend business professional events in college, I didn’t own an actual suit, so I paired non-matching black pants with a black blazer in a completely different fabric (although in retrospect, perhaps they were different enough that I actually pulled this off despite not knowing any better). Read more
I typed this list into my phone early one morning while I was laying in bed and had a moment of clarity. It was 7:14 AM on Monday, January 16, 2017, Martin Luther King Day, before I was a mother and almost exactly a week after I started this blog. I don’t recall exactly, but I think I was writing this list as a guide for myself, based on lessons I’d learned but of which I sometimes needed reminding. It wasn’t well thought-out and I haven’t edited it, but I think it contains some gems of wisdom that are worth sharing, even if I don’t always follow all of these suggestions myself. You’ll probably notice themes that have appeared in other posts I’ve written.
How to Love your Life:
Be grateful for what you have
Get comfortable in your own skin; appreciate what your body does for you and realize that there’s no such thing as perfect
Forgive yourself for your past decisions and actions; understand that things you did and said in your youth were influenced by childhood experiences
Remember that this is the only life you get and it can end at any moment
Go to therapy. If you aren’t already living a life you love, you can probably benefit from talking to a therapist. There are likely things holding you back that you don’t realize. A therapist can help you see them and work through them.
Do something to benefit others
Make time for your hobbies. If you don’t currently have a hobby, think about what you loved doing when you were younger, or try something new.
Try something new. Variety, adventure.
Realize that your reactions to other people often say more about you than about them. When someone frustrates you, angers you, or annoys you, ask yourself why. Are your reactions valid? Are they based on objective truths? Does your response benefit anyone, or will it only make you and others feel worse?
To this I would add: If you aren’t living a life you love right now, make a change. It could be a big, scary change that will really shake things up, but even a small change will do. Just don’t allow yourself to stay stuck for too long. Your time here is limited, and really, what’s the worst that could happen if pursue the most amazing life you can imagine for yourself?
“There is freedom waiting for you, On the breezes of the sky, And you ask “What if I fall?” Oh but my darling, What if you fly?”
― Erin Hanson
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