Giving Thanks to Those Who Shaped Us

Middle school girls in renaissance-inspired costumes with their drama club director at a school Shakespeare festival

The night before Thanksgiving, I did a guided meditation on the 10 Percent Happier app called “Gratitude for Benefactors.” The meditation asks the listener to call to mind a person who helped them in some way. The first person I thought of was, surprisingly, a teacher I had in middle school. I haven’t seen her in years, and I had never before thought about how much she encouraged me or the learning opportunities she provided.

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Some Upsides of Social Distancing, Part IV

A toddler pushing his stroller on a wooded path

Here in Tennessee, businesses are starting to open back up again, but my behavior hasn’t changed. I’m still very much isolating at home, and probably will be for some time. I don’t think we’ve seen the worst of this pandemic yet, at least not in our region. Given my pregnancy and autoimmune disease, I’d rather be as cautious as possible for now.

While it’s hard not to see my friends and do some of the things I used to do, I remain in good spirits. Below are a few more benefits of this new lifestyle that I’ve noticed.

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Parenting a Young Child: The Good Stuff

A toddler crouched down to touch some gravel
My 14-month-old son playing behind our house

If you have children, are thinking of having children, or are at an age where many of your friends have young kids, you are probably bombarded with articles and essays about how difficult parenting is and the toll it takes on parents (especially mothers). News organizations and niche websites are constantly reminding us of how much sleep we lose and how much stress we’re under (while simultaneously piling on heaps of parenting advice, continually reminding us of all the things we should be doing). And it’s true — being responsible for keeping a mostly helpless developing human alive and engaged can be challenging. For example, I spent a substantial part of this past Sunday night listening to my one-year-old uncharacteristically screaming and crying for no discernible reason while I tried unsuccessfully to console him, which made Monday morning even more of a struggle than normal. (The same scene played again on Monday night, so Tuesday was pretty rough too.) Sleep and relaxation are cherished luxuries these days, and I’m carrying the mental load of having to plan and remember a lot more stuff than I once did.

I think there’s a danger, though, in focusing too much on the burdens of raising young kids. Most of us have children because we wanted to have children. Parents are fond of telling expectant parents that they have no idea what they’re in for (“You think you’re tired NOW? Just wait!”), and that may be true to an extent, but it applies just as much to the positives as to the negatives. I’ve heard many a parent say that they never knew they could love someone so fully until they had a child. To counter the rampant complaining about parenting woes circulating the internet, I’d like to take a few minutes to reflect on the ways in which my son has enriched my life and helped me to grow.

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Can Minimalism, Mindfulness, and Gratitude Save You From Hedonic Adaptation?

A rocky beach with blue water and a clear blue sky

Have you ever felt unsatisfied even though you know that what you have is exactly what you once wanted? There’s a term for that: hedonic adaptation. It refers to how the momentary happiness of something new wears off quickly, and we adjust to our changed circumstances. The thing we wanted becomes normal and unexciting once we have it for a while.

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